Saturday, June 25, 2011

Latinos know how to party!

Me, Memo, and my Mom

I can't really diss my people, and it's only fair that you don't judge the whole by a select few, but damn, there are some really shitty Hispanics living around here.

I went to a Mexican club the other night to listen to a pretty famous band called Los Alacranes Musical. The people at this club though, and not to mention the club itself, were just plain gross. Your typical drunks everywhere with trashy girls who exchange drinks for dances. The guys there try to compensate for their small dicks with long ass boots that could rupture a man's rectum with a well aimed kick. Think of clown shoes, but mixed with stilettos? Their hair is always ridiculously gelled up in some tacky ass fashion, or covered by some lame hat when they have no hair and most of it is on their back and ass. Even the girls were pretty furry. They had meaner side burns than I did and some pretty hairy arms. I don't mean to sound like a pompous douchebag, but honestly these people had no class or dignity. I feel that this scene of music is dying, all you really get is a bunch of old drunks and busted up looking whores. I did get a kick out of seeing all these guys come up to this girl who was trying to talk to me, I don't remember how old she was but I'll guess 24? She was completely drunk so I didn't have it in my heart to take advantage of her. I know, I'm a gentleman, what can I say. I just ignored her and guys would come one by one to ask her to dance. It was hilarious seeing the face on the poor sucker after they took a hard rejection, they almost wanted to cry it seemed. It's pretty sad when some kid half your age is scoring chicks and you're an old ass man crying about it.

Douchebaggery aside, there was a fight that went on in this club (Yay!) It was sort of messed up though, a bunch of drunk guys, two to one. The guy went out cold. A third guy tried to go in making the fight even more unfair, but everyone backed up as soon as he stopped moving on the ground. Everyone was screaming "Don't touch him!", but people are stupid, he was just unconscious, it's not like he fell from a 10 story building or got ran over by a truck (although the blood on the floor might make you think that). Nothing affected his spine that could cause paralysis. Trust me, I learned my shit from the Miami Project. My dad and I helped the guy get up on his feet. Honestly, it sort of bugged me to see that these people made no effort to intervene or to help the old drunk out. It was very inhumane to just leave him and not go for help and I'm pretty ashamed that those people are my race. Like I said, I know not all of us are like that, and these are only the small percentage of Hispanics. Mainly the stinky lazy ones that you would see at a Wal-Mart, not Home Depot or Lowe's. Most of them are not even from Mexico...El Salvador actually. They're the nasty, hated, inbred rednecks of Latin-America who join stupid little gangs like MS-13 which none of you fuckers should even be scared of, they're all a bunch of pussies like most gang members. I just want to punch every single one of them in the face, but I'll be too busy getting a High School diploma and going to college.

My mom and Peter (Pedro)
It was pretty cool to hang with the band after the show though. My mom is a pretty hardcore fan so I got to go back with them and talk to all the members. I was pretty surprised when they knew her name already. She stalked them pretty hard on facebook. The main singer seemed kind of like a douchebag since he was the face of the band, I guess he kind of deserves to be a little cocky, they're a good band. We really got to talk to the saxophonist and the best advice he could give me was "Don't get pregnant." We talked about high school band, and that's where it all started for him. My mom was showing me off to them trying to tell them how smart I am and stuff being in Governors School, but I don't consider myself too smart. He seemed like a really humble, chill dude and it sort of cheered me up knowing that there are actually some dignified Hispanics out there.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

River Rats


     These past few weeks have been pretty crazy for me. So many...illegal activities...I think I could use a little breather. Although it's been exciting, I think it'd be smart to just step back for a while and just reflect on all the crazy shit that just happened. Don't want to start leading down a bad road, I'm smarter than that anyways. Partying like crazy, sweet ass nights with beautiful girls, living life basically, what more could a teen ask for. I went canoeing down some crazy rapids the other day, my brother's canoe ended up getting wedged perfectly in between four random trees. Fuck. It was a bitch getting that sucker out, pushing against the current, well over 1000 lbs of force as the water filled the canoe, took 4 big guys and myself (I weigh 125...) to move that deathtrap. The worst possible thing that could have happened would have been someone getting a leg pinned between some rocks, but luckily we all made it out okay. We managed with some minor bruises being banged up on rocks while floating down the rapids on our backs. Maybe it was a bad idea to keep drinking out of that bottle of Patron after it had been dropped and mixed with a little river water. Shit was expensive though, I felt bad letting it go to waste I suppose. All of this partying has been for my brother. He's moving to California for school and stuff, I'm sure gonna miss hanging with this crazy kid. I feel as though my Senior year is going to be a complete waste of my time, I want college already, I need to get out there on my own. I am totally ready for it. I'll just have to make the best of this next year I guess. Plus, I've got this cute Asian girl I've always wanted to be with, so I've gotta make something happen or I'll regret it for the rest of my life ;)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Pool Story, Bro.

   I know I've been slacking, living life and what not. Well, my recent exploits are kinda naughty, and I don't really feel like writing about them, I'm not one to kiss and tell and some things are just better off unsaid ^_^. Last summer though, me and some buddies of mine snuck into the pool in my neighborhood to chillax and be bros. At this point in time, the pools had all been drained, and one of us had the genius idea to go tee-pee some people's houses, but I felt that was for chumps, and I had a better idea. I was like "Yo, gimme that roll of toilet paper" and made my way over to the Kiddie Pool. I pulled my pants down and plopped a nice hot steamer in the middle of the kid's pool. No one was managing the pools during this time, so that bad boy just roasted for the next month and a half. I gotta watch out who I tell though, since apparently I told the son of the guy who managed the pools. Good thing they switched companies this year because apparently, the ones who worked it last year let people take shits in there. Whoops.

Monday, June 13, 2011



     Whoa, holy shit, is this some Satanic blog now? No, its not, calm the fuck down, you're safe. It's just a Heartagram, logo of the band H.I.M., don't you dare compare it to that faggot hatchet boy of the ICP, those juggalos are just psychotic and have serious issues and if you listen to them go fuck yourself. My hate for that shitty band aside, HIM was a band I really got into when I was younger, a skater and what not, inspired by the greatness of Bam Margera. He featured the lead singer of HIM, Ville Valo, on his show Viva La Bam (greatness, will be missed), and they both shared the symbol so I really got sucked into them. It wasn't even for the music, although they did have a few good ones, I just got into them to be fully enveloped in "Bam-ness" if you will. I wanted to be just like that dude, he was a hardcore motherfucker. I really despise the band now that they've pretty much sold their souls and gone pop-ish, which I completely despise. Not for the lack of talent, but because people who listen to mainstream ruin it for the rest of us, much like Juggalos, just because they dress like complete inbred fuckheads, I refuse to ever hear that disgusting band.
     The symbol is pretty meaningful itself, stands for Love (the Heart) and Death (the Pentagram), showing that they go hand in hand. Not that I completely believe that they do, it's still a pretty cool looking symbol with meaning, and it looks badass to me so I totally want a tattoo of this. Of course, I wanna be just like Bam and get this tattoo right above my pubes. It might be kind of a waste, since I don't go flashing my pubes often, but maybe on my back or arm? I'm not sure. I still think I might go with my pubes right?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The One That Left

L for Love, but seriously, Kira for the fucking win.
     Everyone has that one person that completely changes their lives forever. She meant the world to me. Christina was sweet, but trite naive, she wasn't for me. No one quite says it like Trophy Scars though :). We met because I needed a reed for my Clarinet. She was new so I thought I could pressure her into giving me one. She totally caved. I told her my name was Jesus, but at this point I didn't really like her. Apparently she wrote about me in a diary of hers, kind of like I'm doing now, but I thought it was kind of sweet. She actually let me read it, and asked me to write a page in it. I never did, but I guess this is me making up for that. I'm not good at writing meaningful things, so I kind of just let it go.
     We sat next to each other in football games, and it totally blew when I saw her give some guy a hug and found out it was her boyfriend. I kind of felt like an ass, but he seemed like a douchebag so I kept talking to her and stuff. She was a tease, she'd say stuff like "Wanna be my boyfriend?" just to see my face light up. She knew I was totally digging her.
     At our Homecomming, she showed up with her doucebag boyfriend, and she wanted me to dance with her, but she said I had to ask him. Fuck that, but I did it anyways. Of course he said no, but only because he's a pussy, he knew he had lost her when he looked at her eager face. So we got our one dance, and I'm not even sure how it happened but we ended up bumping heads, and we just sort of stood there with our heads resting on each others. As she put it she "Totally wanted to suck my face off."
     So she broke up with her boyfriend at a football game and came crying to me, and we dated for a while. I don't know why, but I was completely crazy, still am, about this girl. I was completely obsessed, I don't know what it was about her, she was just perfect. I loved everything about her, we'd be complete assholes to each other just for fun, and it was amazing, I could be my natural douchey self to a girl and she enjoyed it.
     I just hate that I fell so in love with this girl, I have to live my life, and she's just a distraction. We'd have periods of time when we'd just stop talking, then we'd be all "I missed you" and it'd just go in a cycle. I had to get out, so I told her I never wanted to see her again. Luckily, she's moving this summer, so I'll never have to see her again. My whole year pretty much revolved around her, and I'll always associate my Junior year in High School with this one girl.
     I made her promise that we'd never talk, we even de-friended each other on facebook (whoa) so you know it's for real :P. I'm kind of glad she's leaving, I can finally get back to worrying just about me. I know it'll just take some time, but I'll get over this girl. I care so much for this girl, and it sucks to have to do this, but I know it's the right thing. I just wasn't meant to be. I told you I wouldn't write this, but I know you're reading it right now and you promised you'd leave for good. So we're even. Douchebag. I love you.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Love Asians

     I admit. I love asians. More than white chicks, even more than most of my fellow latin chicas. They're my favorite flavor. This one in particular is pretty special. She's really innocent and has never had a real boyfriend surprisingly for how cute she is ^_^. I drew a picture of her a la Napoleon Dynamite, to show my appreciation. 
    This girl is really cool because she's fun to mess with. She doesn't really catch on when you mess with her, and it bugs her when I say "moist". Idk. I randomly say "I'm so moist right now." Anyways, shes real innocent and stuff so it makes it even more fun to say naughty stuff around her. 
    I dig her, but I hate making a move. I refuse to make a move because I'm afraid it will be recieved as being creepy and I will never let myself be that guy. *cough*EricWilliams. 
AS I was saying. I totally like this girl, but I'd hate being friendzoned. I don't really talk to her, we don't text or anything. She's called me before just to talk, but I won't let that get to my head, it doesn't really mean anything. She's actually really cute in real life, but I don't feel like being that said creeper and posting one of her Facebook pictures. 
    Take my word for it. Even if you don't like asians. I don't know if I really even want to date her, I just kinda wanna hang out with her and stuff. Maybe get an ice cream or something. Maybe its just my whoremones, but I've been digging her for quite a while. Am I being a pussy for not doing anything? I act like I'm not too worried about it because I don't want to force anything and I don't want to seem desperate. I just go with the flow, and if something happens, it'll happen. I also don't want to get too close, because there's always that chance that she'll totally diss me and no one wants a bad hurtin. Ah jeez, I could use some advice?  

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Coil Guns

     So I'm in this nerdy kind of thing called Governor's School. I'm sure some of you have heard of it, anyways, we're pretty much done with the learnings so we're messing around with all the stuff at our disposal. 
This is a nerdy post, so if you don't like knowledge gtfo. Save yourself the trouble. =) 
We're making coil guns, basically an electromagnet powered projectile. 
We took the circuit boards out of disposable cameras and removed the capacitors to have a huge storage space for our gun. 
Then we soldered all of the capacitors (10 in total) together and charged them up. I'm not gonna lie, I suck at soldering, shit took forever. I also ended up researching if getting shocked multiple times caused doesn't. *-*
Anyways, we charged these bad boys up and used a hollow pen  to make the gun and wrapped a copper wire around the bottom of it with a shit load of wrappings to get an awesome magnetic field around this sucker. 
End result: a tiny little bink that hits the ceiling and gently falls back down, enough to make a middle schooler find out his body now makes fluids. 

tl;dr - I made a gun with Physics. 

Jesus Freaks

I don't necessarily have a problem with religion, I hate those who feel they have to "convert" you to "save your soul". It bothers me that they use scare tactics such as "You will burn in hell for your sins you heathen" to instill fear in people's minds. The other day at work, a customer at work left me a lame little booklet called "The Letter". It was a little religious pamphlet about some lady who gets a letter from a friend from Hell where the doomed woman tells her that she could have saved her, although she was religious, it was all her fault because she never explained the bible to her. It's apparently not enough to believe in god anymore, now you have to convert others or else you're screwed too is what I got from it basically.
I'm not religious at all. I don't believe in ghosts, superstitions, or other things that most white people (sorry, I'm a tad racist) freak out about. These things to me are just in people's heads and they have weak mindsets for not being able to see past them. I can not seem to find how there are so many ghost hunting shows and why people even watch them. They're all so stupid to me (the shows not the people). Don't get me wrong, I loved Ghostbusters, but people who take it too far and are constantly paranoid about it, that's crossing the line. People are the same with religion, they feel that they have to go to church everyday or else they will burn in a fiery pit of doom.
Just recently familyradio thought they could predict the end of the world, and guess what, we're still here. This to me was just  another sad attempt to increase church attendance. I haven't been to church in so long, and you know what, I am so much better. I don't have to dread the days of church knowing that my entire day will be ruined. I only used that time to sleep anyways. I don't hate religion because it does do some good. It keeps order from the chaos that would ensue if people realized they were free to do what they want. This fear of Satan or the devil or demons, what have you, keeps people from killing each other and doing horrible things. Sadly, common sense is not enough to tell someone not to steal. Okay, killing might be an exaggeration, but you get my point.

Side story behind my little post
This girl at my school (I'll leave her name out for her sake) had good intentions. She tried getting me into her church and I tried getting into her pants. I can't really take her seriously. I straight up refused because of the way she asked me. I felt like she just wanted to show off that she brought someone into the religion, and that's not how its supposed to work. I will not follow any religion because religions are all centered around money, either by "forced donations" or tithing I guess, which they make you feel guilty for not giving. I always hated seeing my mom put her hard earned money into something that she could always do on her own for free, and I'm glad she does now. This girl got really upset that I was talking to my friends about it, and she is a pretty dramatic chick at that. So this is how the conversation went afterwards:
"Why? (in a sad overdramatic voice)"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh...and your sister is beautiful."
Yeah, now you understand my struggle. Just as you might imagine, I walked away saying to myself....What the fuck...
She came up to me the other day asking if I were mad at her, and it definitely should've been the other way around. I had just bashed her religion (in a douchey way, not gonna lie) and destroyed everything she believed in using totally badass logical facts. Women...
Anyways, she tried talking to me again today, and she was asking why I told my friends about that, and I didn't really want to talk about was awkward so I pretended to listen, and luckily I was facing her back, so she kept talking to herself cleaning her instrument as I walked away. I wonder how long it took her to realize I was gone...-_-

tl;dr: Religion fucks you up.