Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Gift

I was captivated by your edginess. Your “IDGAF what society thinks of me” attitude. You weren’t a girly girl, you were playing with the boys. You had a style all of your own and you caught my eye like a moth to the flame. I could see that there was so much to you and I had to find out. I started to flirt with you and get to know you. I wanted to know everything about you, everything about you was so interesting.
 You played a song for me, “Mercedes Marxist” by Living Things. This song was unlike anything I had every heard in my life. I could feel my life changing as I heard it. It made me go crazy about you. I knew this girl was going to be so much fun and I had to get a date with her. I asked you for your number and started texting you, it wasn’t too long before I let my feelings slip. I made it so obvious. 
I finally convinced you to go on a date, and it was awful. I was so quiet and didn’t know what to say. Later, I tried teaching you to drive my car. It was a stick shift. I thought I could impress this girl, and make her crazy about me. I was already crazy about her. We took a break from driving and I invited you to cuddle in the back of the car. One thing lead to another and magical things happened. I saw your perfect amazing breasts and I was in love with how free-spirited you were. You didn’t care, you just did what you felt and I loved that. You had no worries, no shame, just freedom, and I wanted that. You made me feel free. You opened up to me and showed me how easy it is to live life. 
I messed up by leaving the car on and having us stranded in the parking lot of my high school. We were locked in and had nowhere to go. I couldn’t call my parents and tell them how retarded I was, so I called my friend to come get us. He dropped us off at my house, and I had to explain to my dad what happened. This is how you met my parents. My dad was probably shirtless, not expecting me to have brought a girl home, but I knew they couldn’t have been happier.
I drove you back home, and I still remember the smell of you when you first entered the car, and didn’t want you to go.  I was in love. I remember the sweater with all the pins and I loved your style. It was so hot. We even skipped class together just so we could kiss in my car. This is when I made it official; you were going to be my girl. I couldn’t imagine wanting anything else more. I loved the way you dressed, the way your glasses sat on your nose, the way your bangs were cut so cute on your forehead, and your amazing smell. I loved holding your tiny frame in my arms and never wanted to let go. 
It was finally time for me to meet your parents and it’s a night I can never forget, no matter how hard I try. It was a night I almost lost my life, and you. All I could think about was how to impress your mother, being on time, showing her I’m a responsible and dependable, sweet guy. I bought her a gift and had it wrapped up. 
I crashed that night. I completely destroyed my car, and my chances of making a good first impression. I swerved off the road and pinned my car into a tree. I shouldn’t be alive. After seeing that car, I couldn’t help but thinking that I was actually dead and seeing everything as a spirit. I couldn’t believe it. I was in so much pain, my neck was burning and I couldn’t feel my leg. The seat belt had engraved that memory into my body, and the brake pedal had destroyed my ankle. I don’t know how I got out of the car, I was so disoriented and weak. I crawled away from the car, afraid that it could catch on fire for some reason. I couldn’t stand and I could barely understand what was going on. 
A passer-by was a trained EMT and asked me questions, did I know my name, birthday, what day it was. I asked him, is the gift still in the car? He ignored me probably because he didn’t know what I was talking about. He called 9-1-1, and couldn’t stop telling me how bad the car looked. Everyone kept saying I was lucky to be alive. I didn’t really know if I was. 
I don’t know if the human mind is capable of creating such fantasies, such intricate worlds that can seem so real, I didn’t believe it. As the ambulance took me away they asked if there was anything I needed from the car like clothes or my wallet, and all I told them to do was bring me that gift. I held it on my stomach on my way to the hospital. 
I never gave your mom her gift. It was a candle. Nothing special, but it was the best I could do. I always keep thinking about how powerful the human mind is and question the existence of everything. You keep me believing. You kept me alive. You were the one who made me feel things that could never be imagined. You made my experience life. After all we’ve been through, there is nothing that could make me stop loving you. You showed me the gift of life. (Speaking of gifts I really need to give you that bra...I'm not going to wear it...)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

One Day

One day, I will be a man. One day, I will be there for her. One day, I will be able to protect her and save her from herself. One day, I will accomplish my dreams and goals and fulfill the promise I made to her. I will prove to her that I can, and that I will. One day, I will have succeeded, and the world will let us have our happily ever after.
I cannot understand what it must feel like to be dying. We are all dying, but I can never understand what it feels like to know your body is killing itself. I cannot imagine how helpless it must feel. All I can do is to try and make her forget. You cannot stop death, but you can always fight it. You say to the god of death, “Not today”.
           Today, I realized how hard it must have been for her. I know she did this to protect me. She didn't want me to see her like that. She had to let me go. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to lose the person you wanted to share the rest of your life with and have them taken from you. That is a pain no one deserves. One day, I will provide the means to keep her safe, and she will enjoy life once again.
           One day, I will show her that I can fix this. One day, I will be able to hold her in my arms again, and tell her that everything will be ok, and she will know that I mean it. I will love her and she will love me, and we will finally be together in love until the end. I just ask you God, please, keep her safe until then. 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Alice 2.2

    I found this pretty sweet program called Alice 2.2 which lets you create your own 3-D world and stuff. I plan on using it for creative school projects and what not, but it can totally be used to mess around with for fun if you're in to MineCraft. This is very basic and you start everything basically from scratch, but that allows you to completely customize the entire thing. You can pick where you are, what goes on, and you can even create your own characters with a little help by the program. Luckily this version comes with it's preloaded "Jesus" avatar (and a Moses looking dude) which I will definitely use to make Jesus do naughty things like get his mack on with the ladies and what not...The possibilities are endless. This was made available through Carnegie Mellon, so it's definitely worth looking into, just that it takes about 10 minutes to download (300mb+) =(
     Hopefully if I have more time I can end up recording some scene or something and show you all. It is very time consuming, so if you got time on your hands and want to learn something useful for school projects or just for fun then this is totally for you. I've only been playing around with this for a day now, but it has tutorials and stuff to help you along the way. I also found a box full of Linux OS's and stuff, labeled "FREE". I guess someone gave up on Linux :P Oh well, one man's trash is another man's treasure. I might try to look into that too. I saw a billboard in California about Linux, so it's obviously in demand, and employers are definitely looking for people who know how to use it, so I'm gonna give it a shot.
    School's started for me...yeah. So I'll be getting my ass handed to me with these super fun classes and all this college application stuff, and I will also be trying to study for my SATs somewhere in there. I'm not too worried about getting into places, I just don't know how I'm gonna pay for it. -_- Peace. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011



     Have you ever just looked up at the sky and noticed lines going against the clouds? I never thought much of them, but I recently looked into them. You may just think that they are normal contrails, or water vapor that has condensed from the engines of airplanes, but sometimes they last a long time, maybe even too long. Normal contrails may dissipate after an hour or so, but sometimes these can be seen for much longer. Some people believe that something sinister may be going on right above our heads. Chemtrails differ from Contrails, in that Chemtrails are believed to be deliberate in that they have things spraying from planes into our atmosphere. Plus, Chemtrails are bigger than normal Contrails, hinting that maybe they're intentionally spraying something out from them. There have also been reports of higher levels of Barium and Aluminum in the atmosphere and water in areas where these trails have been seen frequently. The frequent sightings of these trails haven't been seen much since before the 1980's. 
    These are definitely not like normal clouds, specifically not natural forming Cirrus clouds, since Cirrus clouds are created higher in the atmosphere, in the Troposphere. So we know for sure that these trails are not "natural forming". Some times you may notice that they appear in grid-like X formations, which are too dangerous for normal flying proximity, and basically it's illegal for planes to be flying this close. This raises some questions as to why a plane would go ahead and do this anyways, what are the chances that two random planes are going to opposite ways that close after one another? I don't think it's just a coincidence...maybe there's something bigger going on?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Band Kids Are Cool.

Hmm...white gooey liquidy substance? Must be semen...
     These past two weeks I've just been chilling like a villain with my super cool band friends. Since I'm a Senior this year not a single Fuck is being given. I'm finally going to enjoy myself and be social for once. I hate that I don't even know anyone in the Senior class because I go to Governor's School separate from my normal High School. I'm just a really chill ass bro, I go to parties, just sit there, everyone just assumes you're high out of your mind, but no, I am just really chilled out. Mellow..
     This one time at band camp...Actually, all the time at band camp, we always like to grab ice and drop it into each other's genitals. Like the other day, I dropped some ice down my balls 'cause it feels nice, but my left nut started to go kinda numb, so I took it out and dropped it into this girl's cup (pictured above) and she had no idea where I got it from and continued to drink from said cup...if anything, my Mexican ball sweat made it a little spicy...
     Band has been really chill for me, it's basically an excuse to get together with chill ass people and just hang out, unload bodily fluids on each other, and just for real. We make memories here man, and that's what really matters. We're so cool starting our own little gang/posse/groupofcoolestfothermuckersinbandwhorejectalltools, wearing bandannas and stuff because we're effing cool like that. Band has much more meaning to me than just playing lame old music. I hate the fags who go and play the "Oh Hey I'm A Senior" (Eric Williams) card and molest the poor innocent Freshman. I mean...I feel like a creeper just checking them out sometimes...I'm shifting my focus from being a total manwhore this year to just chilling with my homies one last time. I find any excuse to hang out with these amazing mofos, it's not about getting dat booty anymore, I've finally found shit more meaningful than that. : )
Band Camp - 2011 :) 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Band Camp!

I'm the Total-Non-Doucher with his shirt off :P

     This year is looking out to be pretty sweet for me, I'm kicking off Senior year with band camp. It's cool to hang out with all your old friends, and seeing people who've graduated come back to say hi and stuff. It's also cool to see the chicks who were Seniors when you were a Freshman be all like "Amg...You got even sexier now! Let's bang." I play clarinet, and this year I'm actually the section leader which is pretty cool. I've been playing Final Fantasy: Crisis Core, so I always tell them shit like "Embrace your dreams, and have honor" and what not. It's cool to finally be able to inspire them the way I always wished someone would've inspired me. I am the role model I always wished for. I can totally see them absorbing my ideals like when I say, "Jesus that kid is annoying, grow the hell up" or something, I'll see them go tell their friends...Omg yeah I think that guy is really annoying, and it's all good. I'm glad that these kids finally have an open-mind and aren't lame religious cows without a mind of their own. I guess my job is done, and I've left behind my legacy, just like the Seniors when I was a Freshman guided me, I feel like I've fulfilled my duty and passed on the torch to a cool bunch of kids. I'll definitely come back and make sure they're filling those shoes ^_^ I'm looking forward to this year. 

Monday, August 8, 2011

Ron Paul!


     Yes. He is the man. America's Gandhi, fighting for true freedom from all the corruption going on in government. How? By limiting said doucebags. IRS = Boom. Gone. I feel like I work hard enough for my money that I deserve all of it, screw income tax. I just printed out my Voter Registration Form! ^_^ I'm excited that I'll be 18 just before the whole shebang. Everyone else planing to vote should definitely give him a look. He's fighting for the Constitution, not a way to manipulate it, but to defend it and its honor. We need to stop messing around in the business of all these other countries, and we only do it because we're scared. America is a filled with a bunch of vaginas who always need to watch their back. If we would stop messing with them, terrible things like 9/11 wouldn't have to happen. I'm not saying that we deserved it, but they didn't do it without any reason. I found a nice video if you're interested in boning up on some Ronnie P.