Universal Studios City Walk

   I hit up Universal Studios City Walk yesterday, and holy shit, had the time of my life. My cousins convinced me to go, I was like dude this sounds like a walk around the mall. Lame. It was actually amazing. At first it seemed pretty dumb seeing these kids in bathing suits to jump around in the mini geysers. I mean the beach is like 5 minutes away. First place we went into was Hot Topic. I saw this pink Pikachu shirt and this Invader Zim shirt that said "Gnome Sayin'?" I shit myself! I say that shit all the time. Too bad it was in the chick's section. Seriously, why do chicks get all the cool clothes, all we get is lame crap with skulls. Such faggotry. -_- Anyhoozle. I found out I am a size Medium ^_^. They had a sweet ass Pikachu backpack but you can't even put anything in there. Totally lame.

    I found my way to the Harry Potter table and bought myself a Gryffindor braclet, pin, and one of those long straps you put keys and shit on. I'm not even a real hardcore HP fan, but I know people who would envy me for my HP swag. After that we walked past the Brazilian dancers at the Samba who were actually dancing to "Shake that Monkey" and "Cat Daddy". One of the dancers was handing out some leis. She only had a few left and she was giving them out to everyone so I had to get my hands on one, mainly since she was sexy as hell. I flashed her and she was like "Oh my!" and put her hand over her mouth in a sexy fashion. So I got lei-ed? Hehe. She beckoned me to come on stage with her and I was like, are you kidding me? This hot ass Brazilian dancer with the tiniest shorts on totally wanted me. I jumped on it. I got the personal booty show of my life. It was like having Shakira air sex me, I came multiple times without even touching her. 

   I was texting a girl at the same time, and this dancer took my phone and added her info. Her name is Monica ^_^ After dancing for an hour or so I got tired and left and she blew me a kiss. My cousin wanted to help find me a girl to mack on so she asked me the hardest question of all. "Are you more into a big ass or big boobs?" I could not decide. Asian of course, but I can't pick a preference. I feel as if though I'm a booby man, but there's only so much you could do with them. It's hard to find an Asian woman with a decent body. To further my love for Asians, we went to go eat sushi. Luckily we got a cute Asian waitress, but of course she had to be flat-chested. So much sadness. =(

   It was my first time trying REAL wasabi, and holy hell, that shit stung. I felt it all over the inside of my face. I can't even describe it. I got a kick out of some fat guy trying to get out and when the door wouldn't open he was like "Stop toying with my emotions door!". Fucking hilarious. Since I work in a restaurant I left a sweet ass tip, 20 % ;) I tried talking to her in Japanese, but she was like Chinese or something. Lame. After all of that we got to see Enrique Iglesias showing up for the premier of some Spanish soap opera. That douche. Does he have to be so damn perfect? He's taller than I thought in person, and he doesn't have his mole anymore.

    I had a dream about the dancer that night too, she was in the car with me and I was dropping her off, and she was trying to get out, but apparently the door was locked or something? So she kept trying and then decided that maybe it was the child lock so I put the window down for her to unlock from the other side. She just wanted to put her ass in my face. I love those naughty but yet not wet dreams, and I got sick rhymes yo.